This blog post has been at the back of my mind for the past few weeks. I’ve known that it’s been approaching, but it arrived in a hurry. As the weeks have gone by, I have tried my best to collect stories to tell and lessons I’ve learned so far, but I can’t help but feel like I’m still just getting my feet planted on the ground. I’d be lying if I said that before I left, all I felt was a sense of excitement for this new adventure. I was also completely terrified. As I was sitting on the plane, I watched that little screen on the back of the seat that shows a mini airplane flying over the globe. I was somewhere over the miles and miles of ocean when the thought entered my head, what the heck am I doing. I couldn’t help but feel incredibly far away from everyone I knew already.
The first few weeks were really hard for me. And what I originally felt like a well-thought-out decision to come here started to feel a little more ill-conceived. I knew very little about what living in Jakarta would be like, but from the first breath I took in, outside of the airport gates, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. The heat poured into my lungs and felt heavy in my body. As the days passed by, the feeling still hadn’t faded. Each breath was coated in the thick heat and humidity. The streets roared from the bikes, and the sky was filled with voices calling out in prayer, projected from loudspeakers. I couldn’t help but feel my head spinning as I tried to settle into my new routine.
I have found so much reassurance from my friend Brooklyn, back home, who had solo-traveled Indonesia some years back. We have been able to laugh at the chaos that is Jakarta and appreciate the ways it will challenge you. She told me that life challenges us in waves, and to catch those breaks when you can. The pun was absolutely intended, and made me smile. Moving to Jakarta has felt like being thrown into the ocean, and I’ve never been much of a swimmer. I keep getting hit wave after wave, unable to catch a breath of air. From the brief research I just did on how to not drown when you’re caught in a wave, you’re supposed to go with the flow. Sounds simple enough, right?
Tips for surviving a wave:
- Stay calm (easier said than done)
- Go with the flow (I like this one)
- Don’t fight the water
- Fall, learn, laugh
I think that these tips can go for living in Jakarta as well. Staying calm might be an obvious one, but amidst so much chaos, it’s been the anchor that I needed. And I would consider myself a calm person in general, but oh my will this city test you. It also ties in with going with the flow. During my first few days in Jakarta, I could not see the rhyme or reason to anything. The road has no rules, and I mean not a single one. Cafes will be closed when I’m trying to get a morning coffee, but don’t worry, they’re open all night. I couldn’t figure it out! That is, until (you guessed it) tip number three, don’t fight the water! I stopped fighting for my life to look the same as it did back home. And slowly, I started to see the flow within the chaos. I was able to cross the road without stopping in the middle of traffic, to a driver waving me across, wondering what the heck I’m doing. Not always, but often, I make it smoothly across in one long stride. More importantly, I’ve been able to recognize the resilience of the people who live here and learn to appreciate what Jakarta has to offer.
The final tip applies to falling off your board when surfing, but I feel I’ve done my fair share of falling since being here. Falling or ‘failure’ if you’d prefer, I take literally, is a part of life. And it’s definitely an even more integral part of my life here in Jakarta. At work, I was doing some research on the current political and economic state of Indonesia (I’ll get to the details later; right now, we’re still talking about waves), and I read this quote: “Resilience is not about enduring shocks, it’s about turning them into opportunities for growth.” You can get hit wave after wave, and each one will hurt all the same if you don’t learn anything from the first one. And I know I’m saying “you” a lot, I’m really talking to myself here, because I need to learn this lesson. I am making a conscious effort to learn something from every wave.
Ok, I’ve covered falling and learning, but I think laughing is my favourite part. Living here has taught me something I struggled to do more back in Canada. To laugh at myself. And not in a mean, self-depricating way, but because I sound funny when I try to pronounce a new word in Indonesian, or when I am waiting for what feels like a lifetime to find my opening to cross the road until a local tells me to follow them. Laugh because you will look and sound silly, but it will make a funny story one day. Laugh because it’s good for your body and your soul, and it’s what will give you the strength to endure some more waves in the future.
A little more than a month into this internship, I have found comfort in the familiar streets of my neighborhood, in the encouragement from my Bahasa Indonesia teacher, Aty, the old man outside the local convenience store who says hi every day on my way to work, and the cat who greets me at the office door. I have found incredible friendship with my fellow intern, Anna, and have the best support system back home rooting for me. From early morning to late night calls, they put up with my sporadic mood swings at any hour of the day.
I promised I would talk about work (Do you remember that? Probably not, because you were enjoying reading about waves too much). My time so far at the Center for Indonesian Policy Studies (CIPS) has been the slow start that the city would not comply with. Everyone was incredibly welcoming and made sure that we took the time needed to adjust to our new lives. After a week of settling in, it was all hands on deck for an event CIPS was organizing, Bekal Mapan. The event consisted of a photo exhibition showcasing farmers and fishermen from across Indonesia, panel discussions focused on food security, and a documentary following a young farmer/entrepreneur. All of which were aimed at getting young people in Indonesia more involved in conversations about agriculture. Farming is a dying profession in Indonesia, not only because of the lack of youth participation, but also due to uncertainties caused by climate change and geopolitical tensions. The point of the event was not only to encourage youth to participate in agriculture, but also to advocate for policy reforms that would make the sector more secure.
There was lots to do to make everything come together. Anna, other CIPSies (a cute nickname we call ourselves at CIPS), and I spent many hours on the concrete floor preparing photos for the exhibition. I can proudly say I’ve mastered the art of using double-sided tape. During those hours of aching backs and cramping legs, some serious bonding happened. I had the opportunity to get to know everyone personally, something that can feel challenging in a hybrid office setting. CIPS truly has the best people. People who love to laugh, to eat together, and will make sure that you have eaten if you miss the lunch break. People who are incredibly passionate about what they do and meet every new challenge with innovative ideas. I have been so inspired by the patience I’ve been met with while trying to wrap my head around Indonesian politics and, more generally, the chaotic state of the world at the moment. I couldn’t think of a better place to be, or people to be surrounded by, to be challenged to learn, to be creative, and to be patient with myself throughout the process.
Since the event, my work at CIPS has been to assist where it’s needed. I’ve written summaries of policy papers, which were super helpful for getting a better idea of the kind of work CIPS does. I’ve helped look for grant opportunities, put together briefing notes for members of the research team, and officially joined a research project!
Despite all my talk of feeling like I’m drowning in an ocean getting hit by waves (I can be a little dramatic at times), the people at CIPS have been a lifeboat for me to climb onto. I am incredibly grateful for the community that exists here, and I can’t wait for the adventures ahead!
