As my time in KL nears the end, I find myself reflecting on what I am leaving behind and what I am returning to. I wonder which parts of myself will stay back, and what has been woven into who I am for when I return home. I wrestle with the idea that my life as I have been living it will transform once again. This experience will soon exist only as a set of memories, vivid for now, but slowly fading into the background of my mind. What feels normal today soon will be neatly packaged into a distinct chapter of my life labeled “My Internship in Malaysia“.
A Snapshot of Normal
As I sit in the school library and finish up helping Rohal with his grade 2 math assignment, I watch teachers around me make tea and plan their lessons. I overhear their Persian conversations and understand nothing. I walk into Neda’s office, the school administrator and she shows me CCTV footage of a kid breaking the leg of a plastic chair. I laugh, and she mutters “Astaghfirullah” under her breath as I make my way back to the MSRI office. But right as I try to walk out the door, the bell rings and a flood of students pour down the staircase. Almost every boy stops to give me a handshake and I hear an echo of greetings and questions around me. I attempt acknowledging them all while squeezing through the crowd. I have somewhere to be, but this moment of smiles and chaos is much better.
These are some small moments that have become my normal. They hold the feelings that I will remember so vividly. These feelings will surface again when I travel, when I think about global conflicts, when I talk with friends and family –even in moments that I don’t realize they will be guiding me.
A Recap
Our October was filled with lovely CAPI intern guests. First, Jannae stayed with us for a few nights. We spent time passing around stories about our placements and watching her experience the simple luxuries she doesn’t have in KSDC, like air conditioning and cheese. Then came the infamous Faaiza Vakil who came to stay and work with us for 2 weeks. It was so nice to see the reactions of the students and staff when they saw her face appear once again. It was also great to collaborate on projects at MSRI. We organized a very fun sports day for the kids and she helped us with our daily activities and tasks. While she was here we also got to spend time with some of the friends that she had made the past years, and shared different Arabic cuisines with them (my new favorite type of food). Karunia also came near the end of Faaiza’s stay, and they worked on their documentary for CAPI. As they left together, Rowan came and stayed a few nights in our apartment. I was able to introduce him to the school and some of our daily routines before we made our way to Bangkok for my final visa-run.
Bangkok was such a great experience. I was bombarded by smells when I first arrived. The smells of different street foods, fruits, pollution, and some more concerning smells. I rarely experience smells so intensely, and it felt quite dramatic to have all of this at once. It was nice to spend time with my dear friend Rowan, where we spent our days sightseeing and searching for top tier meals. We definitely found what we were looking for. Roast duck, crispy pork belly, noodle soup, and Thai red curry were some of my favourite meals we were blessed enough to find. We reflected on our experiences thus far and shared many tales of our journeys.
The Now
Once I returned to KL I started reflecting and preparing myself for my departure. With only a short while until I continue my travels elsewhere, I find myself sad to leave my new home. I have made connections with students, I have made friends with my co-workers, and I have found a strong sense of familiarity in my neighbourhood. For what it’s worth, I have considered this place my home.
I feel emotional when I talk to my colleagues and students who I have built relationships with about leaving. The idea that I may never see them again is a very real and painful realization. Each and every one of them has impacted me much more than I could have imagined. The biggest realization I’ve had while preparing to leave is just how meaningful the relationships I’ve formed here truly are. I feel a real kinship with many of the students, and I’ve built genuine friendships with teachers and staff. These connections are what I will carry with me long after I go. I’m humbled by their resilience. Many of them have said goodbye countless times before: to friends who’ve been resettled, to loved ones left behind. Their ability to continue with strength and grace is both incredible and heartbreaking.
Finally, I am forever grateful to Andrea, Sakina, and every staff member and teacher at MSRI; to Robyn and everyone involved in CAPI; to my co-interns Maddy and Gwen; to QES; and to my friends and family, who I love dearly. Although this chapter is coming to an end, I go forward grateful for every moment, every lesson, and every person who made this place feel like home.
Inshallah paths will cross again.
Jaiya
